First Fight

Shortly after we were married, my husband was put on Oxycodone.  The VA had no idea what was wrong with him, so they decided to just medicate him.  He changed from a fun happy guy, to someone I had never thought he could be. He ignored me all the time, and when he did decide to talk to me he would be very demeaning, calling me worthless, stupid, ugly, fat, and more.  I did everything I could think of to make him notice me.  I was affectionate, did everything around the home, made him wonderful meals, and worked hard. I told him I loved him often and would support him in anything.  He didn't notice anything.  I don't think he noticed the sun come up.  He spent his days at work, and his nights playing World of Warcraft. I actually had to play it with him so I could spend time with him.
Every day his mood was different.  I didn't know if he was going to be in a good mood, depressed, or easily angered.  I would be quiet from the moment he got home until I knew what kind of mood he was in.  I walked on eggshells.
One day I was upset because he hadn't spoken to me in a week.  Not one word.  We had only been married about six months.  I interrupted him as he was getting ready to go on a "run" on WoW and refused to let him play, telling him I would delete the game from the computer if he didn't talk to me again.  Suddenly he turned and started walking very quickly towards me.  His eyes were dark, I could see the rage. His hand quickly wrapped around my throat, tightening, as he continued walking, pushing me down to the floor and squeezing my throat.  I can't remember what he was screaming at me.  All I remember is the look in his eyes.  It was like he wasn't there.  Like it was some evil creature in front of me.  I don't know how long he had me pinned in the corner of our bedroom.  I know he was screaming at me, and I know I was thinking he was going to start hitting me.
Somehow he stopped.  It was like he realized what was going on.  He took his hand from my throat, and started profusely apologizing.  Begging me to forgive him.  He hugged me and didn't let go for a while.  I remember thinking "he didn't hit me.  If he hit me I would leave".  Thinking back, I know I should have left.  I loved him so much, I thought that he wouldn't do it again because he realized what he had done.  He would get help.  He promised. He loved me.  It wouldn't happen again.