I am a Battered Wife

My name is Nikki.  I am 34 years old, mother of a beautiful little boy, and the wife of an abusive husband. It wasn't always like that.  Well, not with him.  I hoped he would change, but he hasn't.  I never thought I would be in an abusive relationship, but it seems that is all I have been in.  Hard to understand, or is it?  My father was never abusive towards my mother, or my brothers and I.  He passed away when I was a little girl. I always promised myself, and I always dreamed, that when I got married I would marry a man just like my father. I dreamt about it as a child.  Beautiful wedding to a handsome man who would love me so deeply for all of my life.
My marriage is nothing like that.  We've been together almost eight years, married almost seven. I was twenty-six when we met, he was younger than me by four years.  He was in the process of getting a medical discharge from the Air Force, raised in a Christian home.  He wanted to be a pastor and his love for God was so strong.  I needed that at that point in my life.  I had been lost for far too long.
We met on Valentines Day on our friends blind date.  Neither of them wanted to go alone, as they met on a phone chat line called Live Links, so she begged me to come with her, and he came with his friend.  The moment we met we knew we would be married.  Sparks were flying. One week after we met, after being inseparable, we got engaged in the little bedroom of my single wide run down trailer I was renting.  It really wasn't romantic at all.  We were laying down talking.  He had just taken me to a movie, Passion of the Christ, and to the jewelry store (he said he had to pick something up).  He put the bag from the store on my night stand, and said (because I knew the ring was in there), "if you want it, you can have it".  Should have been a clue this was not right.
Our engagement lasted a year. It was wonderful for the most part.  We were married in March the following year in his grandfathers church. Our wedding night was spent opening gifts until we were too tired to do anything else.
When we moved out of his mother's house a month after the wedding, I was excited to finally begin our life together.  I didn't know that within a few months I'd be questioning if I had made a mistake in marrying this man.


In this blog, I will  talk about the instances of abuse between my husband and myself.  I will call him Alex although that is not his name.  For anyone reading this blog who is going through abuse, and you want to share your story, please send it to me at storiesofabatteredwife@gmail.com  and I will make sure it gets posted.